“So what happened,” my mom asked as soon as she picked up the phone.

Before I could get a word out, I started to sob. New York City’s Union Square was buzzing with students, tourists, commuters, shoppers, Hare Krishnas, street vendors, chess-royalty. And I was in the middle of all them— losing it.

“She—said—I could be—allergic—to the black dye—in my clothes,” I said, heaving louder than I’d intended. The darkening chemical agent was the only area of the patch test gridded across my back that showed a plausible irritation.

Sitting in my dermatologist’s office, my mouth dropped open as I looked down at my black dress, black tights, black boots and the black coat draped across my lap. I thought about my black underwear.

After months of appointments and tests with various doctors, the rash was still covering my body.

The Start

Two months earlier, as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed a red, itchy spot on my sternum from one of my favorite bra’s underwire. I covered the pointy end of the wire with moleskin. Problem solved.

A few days later, a light rash had begun spread from my sternum, under my breasts and toward my armpits. I took a half a Benadryl before bed and planned to wear a looser bra the next day.

When the rash slipped down my torso and snaked around to my back toward my neck, I added cold compresses to a whole Benadryl to nip it in the bud. But a few days later, the rash was down my thighs and inching towards my elbows.

When I woke up to find that the rash on my hands and creeping past my jawline toward the contours of my face, I knew I needed help.

I decided to bring it up at the appointment I’d already made with my doctor for the panic attack I had a few days before the rash developed. My doctor prescribed Lexapro and talk therapy for the panic attack, continued anxiety and inability to focus; she referred me to my dermatologist for the rash.

The Science

Hives are generally described as a rash of round, red welts on the skin that itch intensely, sometimes with dangerous swelling, caused by an allergic reaction, typically to specific foods.

And while none of the five doctors I saw in 2012 and 2013 mentioned stress as a potential cause for my rash, research shows that stress can increase histamine in the body; hives are a part of the histamine reaction. And since 2012, whenever I have moments of high stress, I break out in pinpoint-sized welts that tend to spread from my torso.

Immediate Action

After that good cry in Union Square and a deep sleep later that night, I woke up the next day determined to heal myself.

Starting with my dermatologist’s last guess, I switched to light-colored undergarments in organic fabrics. I went natural with my cleaning and personal hygiene products, plant-based in my diet and stopped relaxing my hair. After about a month, the rash got better and went away.

Identify the Symptom, Treat the Dis-Ease

But overall, I started treating myself better. Adding anti-anxiety medication, talk therapy and being more gentle in my expectations of and conversations with myself to changing my chemical exposures probably did more than either change alone.

With my more natural lifestyle, when I have stress hives now, I can clear them in days—not weeks—with rest, realignment with my values and intention, healthy (whole, anti-inflammatory) foods, meditation, water, exercise, walks in nature, the support of loving, nurturing relationships and half a Benadryl at night.

While living with an unidentified rash for three months was an overwhelming experience, today I see my stress hives as an undeniable call to evaluate and improve how I’m caring for myself. I can use them in my template for making SMARTer goals.

My Stress Now

Looking at journals and planners for the last three years, I documented 21 instances of stress with the following causes:

That said, 2019 stood out. While I documented only 5 stressful times during the year, I mentioned a need to pay attention to my stress 10 times. I had hives once before a trip and had developed a rash on the inside of my elbows after using my favorite all-natural insect repellant on the afternoon of a stressful deadline. Although my documented instances of stress were not much more than 2018, in 2019 I regularly butted up against that line and I overran it twice.

Evaluation & Guidelines

Although I’d like to think that I masterfully stair-stepped my way through this year, my stress patterns highlight places I can be more strategic. Guidelines that promote eustress and prevent distress would be better than trying to combat distress as I feel it building.

To do that, I will:

limit the scope of my goals,
take one day off after each publishing deadline or travel day,
scale back my weekly work hours and continue to monitor my energy levels and patterns
and travel only for need or fun—not an obligation.

What about you? How can stress make you sick? How does it present in your body? Is it hives, headaches, weight gain or loss, acne, dark circles, indigestion, a cold? What triggers these stress responses most often? What can you do to (promote eustress and) prevent distress in that area? How can use your stress to improve your template for SMART goals?

Take 10 minutes to answer these questions either below or in your journal. When you’re living on your own terms, make sure to set yourself up for success.

29- "Can Stress Cause Hives?": How an Extreme Stress Response Changed My Life for the Better